REASONS TO TRAIN

1. It is well documented that every mile you jog adds one additional minute to your life. This enable you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month!

2. My grandmother started power-walking at age 65 and now she is 97. Unfortunately, we don't know where the hell she is!

3. For some people the main reason to take up jogging is to hear heavy breathing again!

4. Many people pay $400 to join a health club and don't lose any weight. They find out later that you actually have to show up. The next thing to learn is that you actually have to use the machines!

5. Most people need to exercise early in the morning before their brain wakes up and figures out what they are doing.

6. Really, if God wanted you to touch your toes, they would have been much closer to your knees.

7. I like long walks, especially by people who annoy me.

8. I may have flabby thighs, but it doesn't matter because my stomach hides them.

9. The main advantage of exercising every day is that you get to die healthier.

10. Good advice: If you take up cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

11. I gave up jogging because I spilled too much wine.

12. Enough funny stuff, you really should exercise. You'll feel better and look better. A mere 20 minutes of bike riding or treadmill work three times a week will make an enormous difference and can be handled by anyone. As you build up strength and endurance, add some resistance training. Marci and Francis would love to get you started and see you through to your goals. Stop in soon.